My God is overwhelming in His mighty power.
He is the Alpha and the Omega,
the First and the Last,
the Beginning and the End.
There is no one like my God.
My God is majestic in Holiness.
He is Awesome in Glory.
He is Infinite.
He is Eternal.
He is Omnipresent and He is Omnipotent.
There is no one like my God.
My God is the King of Righteousness.
He is the King of the Ages,
the King of Glory,
the King of Kings,
and the Lord of Lords.
There is no one like my God.
My God is enduringly strong.
He is entirely simple.
He is eternally steadfast.
There is no one like my God.
My God offers strength for the weak.
His mercy is limitless.
His grace knows no bounds.
His love endures forever.
There is no one like my God.
My God is Incomprehensible.
He's absolutely Invincible.
He's Divinely Irresistible.
When I try to describe Him my words always fall short.
Why?
My God is the Indescribable One.
There is no one like my God.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Peace Amidst A Storm
Written May 15, 2007
Life has been incredibly difficult lately. Approximately 2 1/2 months ago my wife told me that she no longer desired to be married to me. I was totally shocked. All of my dreams, goals, and desires were written around Amie... all dashed in the wind with the simple phrase "I want a divorce."
For weeks I could not smile. I could not laugh. My eyes began to run dry, leaving only red streaks across my cheeks. I love Amie and I always will, but now is a time for restoration.
I am so thankful for my family and friends that have helped to carry me through this tough trial. Without their kind, compassionate, and caring words I would likely still be devastated. They have carried my mat as the four men did the paralytic in Mark 2.
God has provided me with peace amidst the storm. Sometimes He calms the storms in our lives; while other times He calms His child. I am a living testimony to His unending grace and restoration. He has provided me with an incredible support group and has restored my joy.
I may have been a failure as a husband. I may have been a failure as a police officer. I may have failed my family and friends at times. But God has made it clear that I am not a failure in life. I am not a failure in faith. He placed me through the fire and has refined me to be more like Him. What an incredible feeling to have nothing, and still sing to the Lord.
So now, I focus my life and my heart on Him. I am already preparing my heart and my life for another woman. I want to be as pure as possible... and that purity can come only from Him. I hope that someday He will provide me with the desires of my heart; to have a Godly wife and the experience the joy of raising Godly children. If I'm only alotted one shot at marriage I trust that He will provide me the strength to live day-by-day. Only by His direction and timing will I know.
God is good. I am a witness to His unending grace.
Life has been incredibly difficult lately. Approximately 2 1/2 months ago my wife told me that she no longer desired to be married to me. I was totally shocked. All of my dreams, goals, and desires were written around Amie... all dashed in the wind with the simple phrase "I want a divorce."
For weeks I could not smile. I could not laugh. My eyes began to run dry, leaving only red streaks across my cheeks. I love Amie and I always will, but now is a time for restoration.
I am so thankful for my family and friends that have helped to carry me through this tough trial. Without their kind, compassionate, and caring words I would likely still be devastated. They have carried my mat as the four men did the paralytic in Mark 2.
God has provided me with peace amidst the storm. Sometimes He calms the storms in our lives; while other times He calms His child. I am a living testimony to His unending grace and restoration. He has provided me with an incredible support group and has restored my joy.
I may have been a failure as a husband. I may have been a failure as a police officer. I may have failed my family and friends at times. But God has made it clear that I am not a failure in life. I am not a failure in faith. He placed me through the fire and has refined me to be more like Him. What an incredible feeling to have nothing, and still sing to the Lord.
So now, I focus my life and my heart on Him. I am already preparing my heart and my life for another woman. I want to be as pure as possible... and that purity can come only from Him. I hope that someday He will provide me with the desires of my heart; to have a Godly wife and the experience the joy of raising Godly children. If I'm only alotted one shot at marriage I trust that He will provide me the strength to live day-by-day. Only by His direction and timing will I know.
God is good. I am a witness to His unending grace.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Divorce Journal - Final Letter
(After being served divorce papers)
May 10, 2007
Amie,
The past several weeks have been agonizing. A nightmare is probably a good way to put it. Both of our hopes, dreams, and desires smashed in the wind. I’ve told you before and can never stop telling you that I am truly sorry for everything that I’ve done to hurt you or betray you. You remain my source of joy, my heartbeat, my breath of life... but unfortunately no longer my wife.
I have no doubt that I can be the man that you need me to be. I don’t care what I would need to do differently or change. Nothing is too big if it’s for you.
I have checked my phone and email dozens of times daily just hoping that you would take a second to say hello. I can’t express the overwhelming disappointment when I find nothing. Amie, I want to take dance lessons with you, sing with you, run through the rain with you. You are my source of joy.
Every act of love that I have done for you has been enjoyable. Even from the simplest of things from watering your flowers to wrapping your Easter present... it was very soothing to do a loving thing for you. I hope that you recognize or someday recognize the immense amount of love I have for you... and have shown you during this rough time.
What a remarkable feeling to know that I’m marrying my best friend.
Amie you are my best friend. You have held me up in times of distress and sang praises with me in times of gladness. You know everything about me, as a best friend should. You loved me unconditionally and I you. You are a part of my life that cannot be replaced.
Upon our first meeting, one would have been crazy to suggest that we would share this day together.
I can still remember seeing you in our Players class, meeting in the racket ball room. I remember your crazy socks and your interesting choice of clothing... including rainbow toe-socks. I remember attempting to talk to you and you were only polite to me, but nothing more. You weren’t receptive to my advances and shrugged me off.
Then there was the night in Quincy watching The Wizard of Oz. I remember that you were frustrated with some of our classmates for leaving the seat next to you empty. But we began to talk, and you opened up to me. Even then I never would have imagined the impact that you would have on my life.
I remember talking to my great grandmother Trudy the last time I saw her before she died. I showed her a picture of you and told her that someday you would be my wife. What a strange conversation to have, but yet it was true. You became my partner.
Yet, I never could have imagined a love so pure, so sweet.
You have always been uplifting to me. Even during times of distress you showered me with your love. You are a wonderful woman Amie. You are my definition of love.
William Shakespeare expressed this best when he wrote, “Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.”
When I found this quote while writing my vows I knew that it was you. You value traditional literature and its greatest authors. Shakespeare was right. I did not seek love from you necessarily, but stumbled into it. When meeting you in class I had no desire to fall in love with you, but rather to just capture your attention. I just wanted you to look my way and smile. Yet, I received so much more.
The sincerity and genuine nature of your love swept me away. I had no idea that we would have shared so many great moments, laughter, and memories together. What I received in you was far greater than I ever could have dreamed of having.
How wonderful to know that I will share my days with you, as a life without you would in fact be no life at all.
This statement has never rang more true to me that it does today. Without you there has not been any happiness or true sense of joy. As I’ve stated several times before I wish that some of those days could be different. I would wipe away the tears, heartache, and numbness. But we both know that I cannot change those days, only what lies ahead. It’s unfortunate that it’s taken something like this for me to truly realize how many mistakes I made. But I assure you that I’m repentant of those days and will never forget how they hurt you.
You have provided me with the greatest days of my life. I could spend months trying to think of all the great memories that I share with you, and probably a couple of hours trying to think of times of sorrow. The wonderful memories highly outnumber those of distress.
I cannot believe that the person I shared the greatest day of my life with, our wedding, is forcing the worst day of my life upon me, our divorce. I love you more than life itself Amie and would give anything for reconciliation. A life without you just doesn’t seem possible.
I promise to hold you close whenever you should cry, and to life you up before the Giver of strength when you are weak.
I know that I failed at this on more than one occasion. But I hope you see that in the last year and a half I have genuinely tried to do this for you. When you were down I contacted friends and family and had them contact you... to try to help you through. When my mouth was barely above the surface of the water I tried to rescue you when you were drowning. I refused to stop singing.
I promise to laugh whenever you should laugh, to walk in stride with you through this journey of life.
As I stated previously, we share many wonderful memories together. Aside from just memories I always loved hearing you laugh. I could tell endless amounts of stupid jokes and you would always crack a smile, even when you didn’t want to.
As I told you a few weeks ago, I’m sorry that I’ve made you go through so many things in the last year and a half. I’m so sorry that it took those things for me to truly see what I had in you. But I regained my sense of joy in you. I rewrote my dreams and desires for you. I tried to show you that I loved you on a daily basis. I wanted to raise a family with you and continue to walk with you through this journey. I wanted to feel warm sand between my toes while we walked along the beach, and tug on the dog’s leashes as they sniff every lawn.
Life is a journey and you were my partner.
For you are my life, my love, my bride.
Two of the three still remain in my heart even after a divorce.
You have shown me what it means to live. You have given me a purpose and dreams. You are my life.
It’s painful to no longer be your love, yet you remain mine. My soul longs for nothing more than to feel my love reciprocated when you look at me.
You were such a beautiful bride. Every day I loved waking next to you and calling you mine. I wish that I could continue to call you that, but it has been stripped away.
I love you more than anything Amie. You have told me on the phone recently that you didn’t want to spend time with me because you felt that I was fake. Amie, nothing about me is fake. I have rediscovered who I am and have buried who I am not. Only time will prove this to you.
I will remain hopeful that someday we can reunite our dreams, goals, and desires. I love you Amie K. and always will.
Should I never hear from you again, always know that I love you.
-Mike
May 10, 2007
Amie,
The past several weeks have been agonizing. A nightmare is probably a good way to put it. Both of our hopes, dreams, and desires smashed in the wind. I’ve told you before and can never stop telling you that I am truly sorry for everything that I’ve done to hurt you or betray you. You remain my source of joy, my heartbeat, my breath of life... but unfortunately no longer my wife.
I have no doubt that I can be the man that you need me to be. I don’t care what I would need to do differently or change. Nothing is too big if it’s for you.
I have checked my phone and email dozens of times daily just hoping that you would take a second to say hello. I can’t express the overwhelming disappointment when I find nothing. Amie, I want to take dance lessons with you, sing with you, run through the rain with you. You are my source of joy.
Every act of love that I have done for you has been enjoyable. Even from the simplest of things from watering your flowers to wrapping your Easter present... it was very soothing to do a loving thing for you. I hope that you recognize or someday recognize the immense amount of love I have for you... and have shown you during this rough time.
What a remarkable feeling to know that I’m marrying my best friend.
Amie you are my best friend. You have held me up in times of distress and sang praises with me in times of gladness. You know everything about me, as a best friend should. You loved me unconditionally and I you. You are a part of my life that cannot be replaced.
Upon our first meeting, one would have been crazy to suggest that we would share this day together.
I can still remember seeing you in our Players class, meeting in the racket ball room. I remember your crazy socks and your interesting choice of clothing... including rainbow toe-socks. I remember attempting to talk to you and you were only polite to me, but nothing more. You weren’t receptive to my advances and shrugged me off.
Then there was the night in Quincy watching The Wizard of Oz. I remember that you were frustrated with some of our classmates for leaving the seat next to you empty. But we began to talk, and you opened up to me. Even then I never would have imagined the impact that you would have on my life.
I remember talking to my great grandmother Trudy the last time I saw her before she died. I showed her a picture of you and told her that someday you would be my wife. What a strange conversation to have, but yet it was true. You became my partner.
Yet, I never could have imagined a love so pure, so sweet.
You have always been uplifting to me. Even during times of distress you showered me with your love. You are a wonderful woman Amie. You are my definition of love.
William Shakespeare expressed this best when he wrote, “Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.”
When I found this quote while writing my vows I knew that it was you. You value traditional literature and its greatest authors. Shakespeare was right. I did not seek love from you necessarily, but stumbled into it. When meeting you in class I had no desire to fall in love with you, but rather to just capture your attention. I just wanted you to look my way and smile. Yet, I received so much more.
The sincerity and genuine nature of your love swept me away. I had no idea that we would have shared so many great moments, laughter, and memories together. What I received in you was far greater than I ever could have dreamed of having.
How wonderful to know that I will share my days with you, as a life without you would in fact be no life at all.
This statement has never rang more true to me that it does today. Without you there has not been any happiness or true sense of joy. As I’ve stated several times before I wish that some of those days could be different. I would wipe away the tears, heartache, and numbness. But we both know that I cannot change those days, only what lies ahead. It’s unfortunate that it’s taken something like this for me to truly realize how many mistakes I made. But I assure you that I’m repentant of those days and will never forget how they hurt you.
You have provided me with the greatest days of my life. I could spend months trying to think of all the great memories that I share with you, and probably a couple of hours trying to think of times of sorrow. The wonderful memories highly outnumber those of distress.
I cannot believe that the person I shared the greatest day of my life with, our wedding, is forcing the worst day of my life upon me, our divorce. I love you more than life itself Amie and would give anything for reconciliation. A life without you just doesn’t seem possible.
I promise to hold you close whenever you should cry, and to life you up before the Giver of strength when you are weak.
I know that I failed at this on more than one occasion. But I hope you see that in the last year and a half I have genuinely tried to do this for you. When you were down I contacted friends and family and had them contact you... to try to help you through. When my mouth was barely above the surface of the water I tried to rescue you when you were drowning. I refused to stop singing.
I promise to laugh whenever you should laugh, to walk in stride with you through this journey of life.
As I stated previously, we share many wonderful memories together. Aside from just memories I always loved hearing you laugh. I could tell endless amounts of stupid jokes and you would always crack a smile, even when you didn’t want to.
As I told you a few weeks ago, I’m sorry that I’ve made you go through so many things in the last year and a half. I’m so sorry that it took those things for me to truly see what I had in you. But I regained my sense of joy in you. I rewrote my dreams and desires for you. I tried to show you that I loved you on a daily basis. I wanted to raise a family with you and continue to walk with you through this journey. I wanted to feel warm sand between my toes while we walked along the beach, and tug on the dog’s leashes as they sniff every lawn.
Life is a journey and you were my partner.
For you are my life, my love, my bride.
Two of the three still remain in my heart even after a divorce.
You have shown me what it means to live. You have given me a purpose and dreams. You are my life.
It’s painful to no longer be your love, yet you remain mine. My soul longs for nothing more than to feel my love reciprocated when you look at me.
You were such a beautiful bride. Every day I loved waking next to you and calling you mine. I wish that I could continue to call you that, but it has been stripped away.
I love you more than anything Amie. You have told me on the phone recently that you didn’t want to spend time with me because you felt that I was fake. Amie, nothing about me is fake. I have rediscovered who I am and have buried who I am not. Only time will prove this to you.
I will remain hopeful that someday we can reunite our dreams, goals, and desires. I love you Amie K. and always will.
Should I never hear from you again, always know that I love you.
-Mike
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
