Divorce Journal Entry #47

April 10, 2007
9:20 pm

Today was not a bad day.

I woke early and worked on the painting for Amie for about an hour before I got cleaned up and went and saw a counselor within the church. I spent two hours talking to him. It was nice to cry and share my heart with a listening ear.

Afterwards I was determined to finish my painting for Amie. This was my third painting, and by far the most difficult. Creating the text was tough, but the pinstriping was probably the hardest. Overall I’m very pleased with how it turned out. I hope that she sees the love and time that it took to make it for her.

Tonight I attended a Bible study group in midtown Tulsa, at a LifeChurch member’s house. We discussed the book of Ruth. There were several things about that story that I had never seen before that resounded to me.

We began discussing Naomi’s response when she returned to her home land. She says that God has cursed her and asked to be called by a name that means “bitter”. Some of the people in the group questioned Naomi’s heart for the Lord, but I totally understood her cries. The actual Hebrew word used by Naomi means that God has “done evil” to her. I can understand and relate to having that same thought and feeling within the last month at one time or another. She saw no reason to have hope and her world was filled with darkness.

She does, however, later in the book praise the Lord for what Boaz is doing. She finally saw a ray of sunshine in her dark world. Her heart wasn’t in the wrong place, she was human. She had difficulty accepting the circumstances behind her losses but was quick to praise the Lord at the first glimmer of hope.

And how amazing is it that Ruth, a woman who seemed to have no reason to find hope, became part of the lineage that ultimately brought hope to the world.

What a great picture of how we come to God and lie at His feet to be accepted and redeemed... just as Boaz redeemed Ruth.

In my darkness I know that there is light and hope somewhere. May God redeem me and help me to find healing in a cancerous world.