Divorce Journal Entry #18

March 9, 2007
2:52 am

I lie in bed again staring at the ceiling.
My mind accelerates again with no care for rest.
The counselor told me yesterday about the Five Love Languages,
and I cannot seem to get it off my heart.
I must admit I haven’t read the book yet,
but am working on getting a copy.
My wife made a comment a couple days ago
saying that I don’t need to list to her all of the things I do for her.
It finally makes sense to me.
I have been trying to speak to my wife in my language
and although it speaks loud and clear to me
she is not comprehending it for how it’s fully intended.
My wife cannot and does not speak my language,
so why would I expect her to see them
the same way I do?
In my heart the simple acts of service showed that I
admonish
cherish
love
admire
my wife.
In my heart the act of giving showed that I
praised
adored
found allegiance in
respected
my wife.
To my wife, however, they were nice things that were done,
and nothing more.
I want the chance to speak to her in her language.
If I even devoted half of the attention and care
that motivated my language acts
and translated it into her language
it would be huge!
Getting the opportunity, however, requires her to open her heart a little.
Would she view this “eureka” as too late?
Probably, but I must not give up hope.
I must not stop praying.
That someday, somehow I get an opportunity
to speak to my wife in her language.