7:24 am
Echoes of laughter and joyful screaming filled the park
as we taunted and laughed playing make-shift baseball.
One team was deemed the winner,
but we were all winners and recipients of a good time.
The afternoon was cut short as I was embraced by my father
where in tears he told me, I love you son. Hang in there.
Today all I envision is hostility, pain, tears.
Where has the joy gone so suddenly?
I desire to share more laughter, more screams, more homeruns…
or in this case automatic outs for hitting it over the fence.
I want to smile as my mother runs around the field
as she giggles of excitement for just hitting another great hit.
I want to feel the adrenaline rush of a race home
only to grab a potato and pretend I know what I’m doing.
All of this compromised for a stupid act.
Life is full of up and downs,
yet lately it seems like it’s been full of downs.
How can one event change something so wonderful into something so painful?
My heart cries for forgiveness,
yet those cries feel unanswered.
How can one express their own remorse, guilt, shame
to show it’s genuine and sincere?
How do I share my heart without pushing her further away?
In the past months I have lost nearly all I had to stand on,
but this hurts ten times as much.
Why?
My heart and soul belong to her,
but painfully they are no longer desired.
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