Divorce Journal Entry #28

March 11, 2007
10:28 am

I went to Sunday School this morning as I told my wife I would. She told me that she wouldn’t be there, but I went anyhow and saved her a seat next to me. I fulfilled my promise and she painfully fulfilled hers.

Several things resounded to me during the class. The words of a song sang in the class helped me to find refuge.

You are holy You are holy
You are mighty You are mighty
You are worthy You are worthy
Worthy of praise Worthy of praise

I will follow I will follow
I will listen I will listen
I will love You I will love You
All of my days All of my days

I will sing to You are Lord of lords
And worship You are King of kings
The King who You are Mighty God
Is worthy Lord of everything
I will love an, You’re Emmanuel
Adore Him You’re the great I AM
I will bow down You’re the Prince of peace
Before Him Who is the Lamb
I will sing to You’re the Living God
And worship You’re my Saving Grace
The King who You will reign forever
Is worthy You are Ancient of Days
I will love and, You are Alpha, Omega
Adore Him Beginning and End
I will bow down You’re my Savior, Messiah
Before Him Redeemer and Friend

You’re my Prince of Peace
And I will live my life for You

During the message the teacher talked about fruit from the tree. The following passage spoke to me:

“Every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.”
1.Matthew 7: 17-18

I understand that this passage is talking about being wary of false prophets but it said something more to me today. It is not possible for me to be a man of good character with pure desires and goals unless that is truly who I am. My heart cries with compassion, humility, patience, and understanding; all of which are impossible unless I am a good tree.

I know that in the past I have done some horrible things to my wife, of which I am truly repentant. The teacher then noted the following passage:

“Then he told this parable: ‘A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tee and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’

‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it. If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.’”
-Luke 13:6-9

I understand that this passage is talking about spiritual fruit, but it too said something more to me. As I said above I have done some horrible things to my wife in the past, but they are just that… the past. My tree was barren for some time and did not produce anything nourishing or fulfilling. I was a waste of soil! But God renewed my heart and brought me to my knees. He loosened the soil around my roots and provided me with the fertilizer I needed. What once was a dead tree began to flourish and sprout fruit. It began to nourish as it should. This is my life.

Prior to the message I found an old sermon outline in my bible from preaching in Center. The verse studied in that message was:

“Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation – if you continue in your faith established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel.”
- Colossians 1:21-23