Divorce Journal Entry #38

8:32 pm

I just finished meeting with a counselor. He made some very interesting points that I wish to remember.

He told me that one thing a wife needs more than anything is security. She has left the umbrella of her family and entered under the wing of her husband. She desires financial, emotional, and physical security. As a husband it is my utmost priority to provide my wife with those securities.

He said that my past actions have jeopardized that security. He offered me hope however by stating that those securities can be reestablished with time. He told me, with his wife sitting next to him, that he has been married 34 years. He told me that from 1986 – 1996 he entered into 10 different relationships with women other than his wife. He told me that all he desired from his wife was acknowledgment of what he’d done for her, but that it seemed non-existent. He told me that he sought those feelings from other people, only to find that they would last for a short while. He told me that it took he and his wife the past 10 years to rebuild their securities with one another. Nothing is impossible with God.

He told me that I cannot change my wife. I can only change me. He told me that when the smoke clears it will be seen as to who I really am. Through the events of the past year I believe that I’ve already found who I am. I believe that I am a loving, caring, humble, and patient man of God. He told me that should I maintain my integrity and humility that someday Amie will see who I really am. Then she will be able to reexamine me and those feelings of security will likely return.