March 20, 2007
7:00 am
Last night was yet again another restless night. I woke up this morning wanting my wife so badly to come home. The word “miss” doesn’t hardly seem accurate.
I sat and began to read from The Five Love Languages. A couple statements stood out to me.
“Many of us are like Patrick. We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve. A relationship calls for sympathetic listening with a view to understanding the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and desires. We must be willing to give advice but only when it is requested and never in a condescending manner.”
- The Five Love Languages, p. 63
Reading this made me remember the day that my wife broke her glasses. She was devastated. She was not only upset for breaking them, but was afraid that we couldn’t afford to purchase new glasses for her. I remember looking at her analytically, not sympathetically. I offered a solution, not condolence.
I know that the above example seems rather small, but that’s what she wanted me to do with her. After allowing her to vent her frustrations, then she would seek a solution. I only offered a solution.
“One of the by-products of quality activities is that they provide a memory bank from which to draw in the years ahead. Fortunate is the couple who remembers an early morning stroll along the coast, the spring they planted the flower garden, the time they got poison ivy chasing the rabbit through the woods, the night they attended their first major league baseball game together, the one and only time they went skiing together and he broke his leg, the amusement parks, the concerts, the cathedrals, and oh, yes, the awe of standing beneath the waterfall after the two-mile hike. They can almost feel the mist as they remember. Those are memories of love, especially for the person whose primary love language is quality time.”
- The Five Love Languages, p. 71
The above statement made me think of memories that Amie and I have shared together. Below is a short list:
Walking through the fog while in college
Dancing on a frozen river and writing “I love you” in the snow
Working with kids at Center Baptist Church
Going to the grocery store and seeing my wife wearing a hairnet in the deli
Riding the motorcycle with my her
The joy of our first place together
A comedy theater and dinner in Chicago
Racing to the car while running through the wind and rain on the Chicago pier
Standing in Times Square
Having two portraits drawn of us
Her sitting with me while I was at the hospital
Racing sandals while watching the tide come in at the Jamaica resort
Sharing seats together as the Braves played the Cardinals in Busch stadium
Sitting with her while she got her tattoo
Standing on the roof of our house watching fireworks
The gracious look on her face during Christmas 2006 while opening gifts
Crying at the academy after seeing her car waiting outside to surprise me
I yearn to be with my wife again; to make more memories. God please provide me with the wisdom and strength.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
1)Psalm 46:1
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